Saturday, April 18, 2009

Shade 2.2 - A New Chance

Welcome back to Fruitandale Island where we join the Shade Legacy already in progress.

Sorry for the delay in posting. I was doing really good with the once a week posting until...dun dun dun dun.....JURY DUTY struck. But now I have done my civic duty and so I'm back with more tales of love and intrigue. Ok, not really. Really it's just comical commentary but it's the best I can do these days.

Sooooo, last time: Aqua died of old age, Bronze grew into adulthood, Bisque moved home where she was knocked up by a virtual stranger and William was cured of his accidental vampirism.

In a move that I may later regret...

No you won't.

As I was saying, I made the decision to move Brown back into the family estate. I felt sorry for him sitting all alone in the family bin...

You should have felt sorry a lot sooner. And don't even THINK you are going to kick me out lady. I'm here and I'm staying. You just tell me what you were thinking when you moved me in. Just let me know what you need me to do and it's done. No more family bin for me and DON'T EVEN think about moving me in with my crazy siblings. Ain't happening.

Brown dear, you might want to calm down a bit. I am the one in control not you.

But you need me. You were thinking that dad is getting on up there in age and that Bronze and Bisque are a little wild and crazy and they could use a calming influence. Someone to keep them in line. Maybe someone to build a chastity belt and force at least one of them into it.

Yeah. (coughs) I believe I was thinking something along that line.

Then we are agreed. I stay. I earn the family money. I keep the girls under control. NO MORE FAMILY BIN FOR ME!
William? Is that safe?

Perfectly. I just whipped up a little something to celebrate my sons return.

Ok. Just don't eat it all. You have been putting the food aways since Aqua passed.

Aqua. *sighs* How I miss her.

We all do William. We all do.

You don't see me. You don't see me.

Yes we do. Yes we do. Look. I got another one. And I'm not working on hobbies either.

Congrats on the promotion Bronze.
Now how about that hubby. The people want to know your decision. I want to know your decision.
Ummm. I can't decide. I just can't. They are both just so yummy.
Since neither Bronze or myself could decide which hottie she should marry, we fell back on that tried and true method of matchmaking. We rolled a dice. Odds and it's black hair. Even and its blond.
And we rolled a six. Joseph Randall it is.

You don't seem happy about the decision Bronze. You agreed to take whoever won the roll.

I know. And I would be happy but Joseph won't answer his phone. I keep getting his answering machine. It's like he's avoiding me. ME. The heiress. Why would he avoid me?
Humm. I don't know. So what do you want to do?

Well ya'll just should have seen this one coming. We fall back on the "ya snooze ya loose" approach and take the runner up. This is Ewan Michaels. He is a custom townie that I downloaded from somewhere or another. Looks like Ewan keeps his cell phone on and handy.

Ummm. And he's good with his hands.
Which is reason enough to keep him.
Yes. He's the one.
Sorry Joseph. Maybe next generation.

Oh no. Say it ain't so.

Nope. No way. I'm not ready to go. We don't have a new heiress yet. I ain't leaving.


Aqua? Waiting on me. Well in that case. I guess Brown can keep the girls in line. Bye kids. I'll be seeing ya.

Generation one now lies to rest in the memorial garden (aka the back yard). May they rest in peace.

Oh dad. I can't believe you're gone.
Smack. Slurp. Ewww baby.
Wait. Dad had insurance. Money money money money! I'm feeling better already.

Well Bronze. Is Ewan the one?

I guess he'll do.
(spoken in an odd European accent with an occasional lisp) You guess? Obviously I need to try a little harder. No?

Well the decision is made. The father of generation three will be Mr. Ewan Michaels who is apparently not well off.

I have things in my suitcase. This counts for me? No?
Isn't his accent so sexy?

So here is what we know about Ewan Michaels. Kind of scary having all these romance sims in the house with ACR. And as for Ewan's LTW, he wants to woohoo 20 sims. I just seemed to have misplaced the pic.

The best weddings (in my opinion) take place in the spring and summer. However, I didn't have time for that. These two could get cold feet. *snickers* Sorry, couldn't help it.

Do you Ewan promise to knock up our heiress. Do you promise to help provide for the family and not complain so much that I am forced to kill you?
But of course. I can do this well. No?
Do you Bronze promise to have a daughter by Ewan. Do you promise to keep popping out kiddies until you do? Do you promise to not get yourself knocked up with anyones elses kid until after the task is done?
Umm. Sure. I can do that. Wait? I can do that if I have a girl on the first try. Girl on the first try. Like the chances of a girl are like 80% right? And the chances of a boy are only 50%. So I should have a girl on the first try because I want to. So yeah. I can promise that.
I now pronounce you Mr & Mrs Shade our generation two mom & pop. You can kiss the bride. Or throw a snowball at her. I'm flexable.
Make love not war. This is the way. No?

Emmm. He's such a good kisser.

Wait. What did we just do?

I feel not so good. We have medicine inside. No?

Not for that buddy. Not for that.
I will make myself well in my own ways. We should make a baby now, no?

Yes. That would be good.

Make it a girl Ewan. I don't want to have a bunch of babies.
I will make it so my sweet. You can trust me. No?

But I'm afraid you can't trust her. This is a witchy legacy and you must get with the program.

Don't worry Ewan. This will just tingle a bit. In a good way. If I do it right. What were the words again?
Woooo. I tingle all over. Like a full massage in the most intimite places. That is good. No?
Um. NO. Not good. Off you got for a makeover.

Now. If you wondered why I said earlier that Ewan sometimes has a lisp. This should explain it. Somewhere in his family history lies a blood sucking vampire. Ewan has the teeth but his isn't a vamp. This falls under the beware of what you download label. I didn't even know about the teeth at first. But I like them and Ewan even though his is a bit odd.
I grow on you like mold. No?

Bisque, who hasn't been mentioned up until this point really did knock herself up but good. She is still getting wishing well loves but only to keep her spirits up. And once the baby is born you can forget it. I don't need the excess kiddies running about.
Brown couldn't find a job in the entertainment field which of course is where his heart longs to be. Insead he became a lawyer. For the money.

Ahh money. I can almost smell it from here. I missed my money tree room while I was gone.

Guys. I'm pretty sure I heard a lulaby a while back. I think you two can lay off now.


Never mind. As you were.

OW! OW OW OW! Pain. So much pain. Can I get some drugs?

Sorry. We only do natural childbirth in this family. You should have thought of this before hand.
It's a boy. Oh look. I have a son.

Chance Shade. It's a lovely name Bisque.

Well it's accurate anyway. I had him by chance.
Actually I think his father's name is Rison but whatever.
Kids got some good genes going there.

So Ewan, my favorite brother-in-law. Could you hold him. I have a date in twenty.
I am your only brother-in-law. No? Perhaps it would be best if Brown held the child. I have things I must do.

I get stuck on child care duty? This is so wrong. I did not sneak my way out of the sim bin just to take care of my sisters accidental offspring. Or my other sisters planned offspring either for that matter. I suggest someone hire a nanny. I'm a lawyer, not a diper changer.

Well I see you had something really important to do.

I must keep in shape, no? And I am a baby maker not a baby changer. I will do my duty but someone else will raise the babe. No?
Umm. No. You and Bronze have to help raise the baby. I won't make Brown do all the work. It's not fair and he does have a career of his own after all.
I will help with the poopy nappies now but when I am the mastermind of all criminals I will not do so. Could you fear a man who smells of baby waste? No? NO! It just won't do.
Don't worry. We'll hire a nanny. She'll do a lot but you WILL help or you WILL be elimitated.
Really? You play hard ball with me. I find that thrilling. I love my wife but she is a bit, what you say, dumb as dirt. No?
Yes. She really is.

But she managed to get a promotion while on maternity leave. You go girl.

Go? Go where? Am I taking a trip?

No. I haven't had the nerve to send the family on vacation. Maybe someday.

Ewan? Three bolts for the nanny? That's just not right.

She has lovely hair. No? I would use her for my enjoyment but alas I feel I must be faithful. This is unnatural. No?

Only because you are a romance sim. But you have been remarkably faithful and have never even flirted with another woman. I comend you. I truely do. *whispers* To bad the same thing can't be said for your wife.
Wha? Did you speak to me?
No. Umm. No.

Getting in shape?

Staying faithful. I work off my frustrations until my Bronze comes home from work. Is a good plan. No?

Gawd you make me laugh. I'm glad that other guy was avoiding Bronze. I would have hated to miss out on you.

What other male was this? I was not the first choice. My superiority was being overlooked for another. No. Say it is not so.
Ummm. Oh wait. I think Brown is home.
Well look at you. Topped the law career did you no?

Ok. Someone has been spending to much time with Ewan. I like the strange little foreign man but I refuse to listen to you talk like him.

Sorry. It was just a slip of the tounge. Eww. That brings back memories. That was a bloody brilliant albulm by Whitesnake.

Now your british? We both know you are from Alabama and you ain't never been nowhere. Could you go back to the ya'lls before I'm sick all over the front steps.

Ok Brown. Anything for you Brown.

Eww look. Bisque got a promotion too.

Yeah. Excuse me. I have to change. Hot date in twenty.

Wait. You have a hot date with your BROTHER?

Ewww. Get your mind out of that gutter. I was just saying high to Blue on my way out.
Oh. I knew that. So Blue. How have you been?
I'm good. The family is good. Growing. You'll have to stop by sometime.
I'll try to find the time. I really will.

Is it just me or is Chance kind of spotty. I just noticed. He looked kind of normal at birth. Humm.

Brown, I see you have finally started our heiress portrait for generation two.

Yeah. I thought someone ought to do it. And it's not like I'm doing anything else.

Are you bored dear. Don't worry. Auntie Tammy will find things to fill your time. Ma wa ha ha ha.
But first....Brown I think you are needed out back. Seems like Bisque stayed out partying just a little too long.

I told you that you needed me. Sisters. Would they be eaiser to deal with if they didn't have romance on the brains?

Who knows. And on that note we fade to black.....

Black? Where's black.

Sorry. No black sightings this week. Maybe next time.


ruby said...

aw poor Brown! Was the family bin that bad??
*comforts Brown* no mo family bin for him! *giggles*
Yay! I like Ewan, he's shmexy! (and good w/ his hands! LOL)
*tear* William! No stay away from the light!!!!
yes his accent is sexy, he's sexy, his lack of money.. not so sexy. What did he have in his 'suitcase'?
Ack! Scorpios are notoriously not nice simmies.. at least he has 3 points.. oy you're in trouble now.
LOL I Love Bronze's logic .. or lack of
bwahaha not like mold, Ewan ew! but yes you grow on me just fine
oh i like Chance's eyes! *tickles Chance's tummy*
*pokes Ewan* dont be so mean about your wife even if you're right and she isnt the brightest chick around.
Woot go Brown! And ya stop talking like Ewan, Ewan talking like Ewan is enough *giggles*
yanno, with this being a legacy you could have just let Bisque die... ya needs the colorful ghosties after all... *blinks* what?
Black? *perks* aw you tease! hehe

snarkysims said...

This entry was a riot! I love your banter with your Simmies.